Poem and a Prayer: Change

Hi God,

real change is so damn hard,
and yet sometimes it happens so fast.

God, help me help myself by surrendering to you.
Help me be willing to let go of old ideas,
and entrust all of myself to you,
even the rough edges, and dark places
I’m afraid to look.

I know I’m deserving of Your Love,
please help me to embrace and live
into this truth.

Thanks a million.

Your Beloved Child,

EunSung

free verse

beloved, I am not worthy of your love, and yet you love me. I cringe before the light of your love, because I have been lost in darkness so lost. i seek your face, and yet run when you turn towards me. my words are all for vain, because they do no justice to the deep longing i feel; i am completely lost without your love. your love gives me wholeness and purpose, and yet i am afraid to completely rest in you. i am a child of chaos, and sometimes the emptiness and darkness feels more normal than the safety and warmth of your love. help me be content with being at peace, instead of jumping into the abyss. i am not worthy of your love, but time and time again you embrace me over and over. your forgiveness and grace flows abundantly towards me and every wayward child. i keep hearing echoes of your voice, “if you want to get to know me, get to know my kids.” your children like me are not always likable; they sneer, lie, and break each others hurt over and over. every time i want to run, you call me back home to you. you tell me to trust, love, forgive, and then pass on how you love me to the rest of your kids. maybe this time, i’ll finally listen. this time i will stay in your embrace, and learn to love as you love. thank you for your love, and i hope to love those who think unworthy of your love.